OBU in the Twilight Universe

We live in a twilight world…

We do. At least, we do here. Our small, baptist, liberal arts college, nestled in blessed Shawnee Oklahoma. I was inspired by Chase Chester (sophomore accounting guy, you may have heard of him) to cast our fellow bison as characters in the Twilight Saga. If you haven’t seen Twilight, I would highly recommed it for multiple reasons:

1. This is the staple for all teen supernatural romance films, setting the precedent for shows like the Vampire Diaries and movies like Beautiful Creatures and that one zombie movie where the girl falls for the zombie, I forgot the name (and frankly I don’t care).
2. The soundtracks are impeccable. New Moon introduced me to Radiohead, and I am now an avid listener. Rosylyn by Bon Iver? Thank you, Twilight. Breaking Dawn parts 1 and 2 fall off the grunge alternative coming-of-age sound, but they still offer up great mainstream songs like A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. All that to say, these movies heavily influenced my music taste and I still listen to their songs daily.
3. You get to see Robert Pattinson’s humble beginnings. This man is an incredible actor, and while he is not proud of Twilight and has shown his disgust for Edward multiple times, it remains his breakout role. Watching his evolution from teen heartthrob to one of the most highly anticipated actors of our time is the plot for a movie in and of itself. This underdog did what Zac Effron and so many others could never — he broke from the mold we put him in and he’s never going back. And I’m glad. I highly recommend watching his evolution in films like Good Time and The Devil All the Time. And while we’re here, I’ll say it. I can’t wait for The Batman.

So, without further ado, this is the dismantling of the OBU social heirarchy by means of the Twilight Saga.

The Werewolves

“Bella! Where the *heck* have you been loca?”

Jacob Black and the rest of the shirtless gaggle of werewolves are grizzly, reactive, and most importantly, a pack. Their bonds run deep, with a rich history of leaders and a mutual respect for one another. This can be compared to none other than the Betas. The Betas value their brotherhood above all, and both they and the werewolves alike tell eachother everything. The pack, of course, has no choice — whenever they are in wolf form, they can hear each other’s thoughts, a blessing and a curse. The Betas, however, don’t need this. I think they all tell eachother everything they are thinking without it. The werewolves also have this habit of imprinting, which is when a werewolf sees their soulmate and are immedietly entranced and bonded for life. I like to think the Betas imprint on our OBU gals, too.

The Humans

“What’s up Arizona? How you likin’ the rain girl?”

I was thinking about this one a lot, and all I can come up with to relate the humans to is underclassmen. Young, fresh, and peppy like Bella’s human friends at school, they are excited about life and not thinking too much about the future, while the rest of us, like the vampires, sit reserved in our deep sense of wisdom. We know the cliches get old (I’m not even going to mention them because they are so over used it makes me want to puke and if you have gone here long enough you know exactly which one I am talking about), we know the caf food won’t satisfy us like human blood, and we know the personalities we tried on freshman year with our 37 friends all flake away eventually, and we turn into vampires. And when you’re a vampire, there’s one thing you will want more than friends and popularity...

To graduate.

The Voultori

“Bella…”

For those of you who aren’t familiar, the Voultori is the vampire government, ruling since times of old, always plotting behind the scenes. They are the Darth Sidiuous of the Twilight world. While casting SGA as the Voultori is tempting, that’s a cop out. The true group pulling all the strings, elected in secrecy, always one step ahead of you, is none other than the Steering Committee. They have the inside on the happenings of OBU. They know everything about you. The moment you decide to apply for Welcome Week, they conduct interviews with secret times in undisclosed locations, led by two members to calculate your every move. Not to mention wearing their Steering Committee t-shirt months after Welcome Week is over, much like the Voultori crest. Just like the Voultori handpicks their vampires with the most desirable powers, the Steering Committee watches the freshman in the shadows, looking for their next member to go through series of rigorous interviews to see if they would be a fit for the governing body at large.

The Cullens

“Battle scarz.”

Thus, we land our allegory with none other than the Cullens themselves. The Cullens fight for what they think is right, which is their happiness. They are honorable because aren’t like other vampires, they drink animal blood instead of human. They try to be good. Even when it’s hard. Just like OBU’s very own Student Government Association. SGA dresses cool in their suits and ties, just like the Cullens. The Cullens all look the same, and so does ole reliable Student Gov during those SGA meetings. They try to be good. They really do.

Well, my fellow bison and Twilight fans (maybe both), that’s all I’ve got for my comparisons. OBU boasts much more than just these organizations, and I feel like that needs to be said. There’s only really three groups of people in the Twilight Saga I could work with, so I just went with some of Chase’s suggestions and what I thought would be the funniest. I feel like I can poke fun at these things because I am or have been all of these things, and one time I bought a Beta bro tank. I never wore it and I gave to my little brother. He wears it.